TOPIC: DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND & WIFE IN ISLAM ( 1)
In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the most Merciful
Respected brothers and sisters in Islam, Today’s sermon will discuss the topic: Duties and responsibilities of husband and wife in Islam.
Islam as a religion is very much concern with issues related to marriage and what comes after marriage agreement. In order to maintain peace and good harmony among families, and between husband and wife; Islam has prescribed certain duties and responsibilities to the husband and place certain duties and responsibilities on wife to balance the equation and whenever those rights are neglected or violated a lots of chaos and evils will find their way in to your life as husband or wife. Allah says: “…And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]
Some of the verses and
ahadith on rights and obligations of husband and wife includes:
1. Man is the caretaker of his wife and household:
He is responsible for all her affairs and he would going to be asked on that “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…” [Quran 4:34]
2. Obedience
It is an essential right of man over his wife to be obeyed so long as his commands do not conflict or contradict the commands of Allah, the Almighty, Allah’s Messenger (SAW) and the general teachings and codes of ethics of Islam.
Allah Almighty Says in the same verse: "...But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.." [Quran 4:34]
3. Keeping secret and privacy:
A Muslim wife must protect her husband’s secrets, privacies, honor and dignity. She also must protect his wealth, children, finance, belongings and other aspects of his household, as much as possible.
Allah Almighty Says in the same verse : "...So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard..." [Quran 4:34]
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: "The wife is the guardian over the house of her husband and his children." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
4. Respect to husband:
And“If I were to command a single person to bow in prostration to another person, I could have commanded a woman to bow down (in obedience and respect, not in worship) to her husband.” [Abu Daawood]
5. Meeting his marital needs:
The wife should fear Allah at all times and be ready to meet the needs of her husband, except in cases where it is not permitted to Sharia (menses or post natal bleeding). At other times, she has no right to refuse him.
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: “If a husband calls his wife to his bed, but she refused to fulfill the call (for any reason other than a lawful one), which drives the man to become upset with his wife, then angels will curse such a wife until she gets up in the morning.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
6. Seeking his permission and approval
The wife must not leave the house except with her husband's permission and approval. She must also lower her gaze, keep her voice low, keep her hands from reaching out to anything evil and keep her tongue from any lewd or foul speech. She also must not harm his children, parents or near relatives.
This is because Allah Almighty has said "And abides in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance...." [Quran 33:33]
7. Protecting Your voice and gaze
Allah Almighty also has said (what means): "...Do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should desire, but speak with appropriate speech." [Quran 33:32]
In another verse, Allah Says: "And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof..." [Quran 24:31]
8. The best wife in the world:
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: "The best woman is the one who when you look at her, you are pleased; when you order her, she obeys; if you are absent from her, she guards herself and your property." [At-Tabarani]
9. Obeying Husbands instructions:
Another right of the husband over his wife is that the husband may ask his wife not do something, including, but not limited to voluntary acts of worship, other than obligatory, which cause her to lessen the time that her husband may have to enjoy her.
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) stated: “A wife is not allowed to observe fast (other than fasting in the month of Ramadan, the prescribed, unless she has his permission. She may not allow anyone to come into his house, unless he permits.” [At-Tirmithi]
10. Husband is agate way to paradise open it or close it:
It has been reported from Umm Salamah, the mother of the believers, may Allah be pleased with her, that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: “Any woman whose husband dies while he is pleased, happy and satisfied with her (acts, attitudes and behavior) will enter Jannah (Paradise).” At-Tirmithi
Adding to above mentioned
11. Contentment:
Have to be content with what brings husband and thank him. No need to be ungrateful to your husband and talk about what is missing. You can thus provoke him to get money from haram. On the contrary, you should take care and asking your husband to bring in only the funds, earned through halal means. Do not compare him with husbands of your sisters or girlfriends or what you see on the screen. Remember, everyone has their flaws. If you'll thank you husband for even minor gifts, then he will be pleased to do it more often. The husband needs to feel importance in his family.
12. Saying sorry and seeking for forgiveness:
If the husband is not satisfied with his wife’s actions or done something wrong there is no harm to say sorry and ask for forgiveness that will earn her more respect to her husband.
13. Respecting Husband’s parent and relatives:
The wife should respect and honor the parents and relatives of the husband. Honor them how to honor your parents. Be grateful for the fact that they raised your husband.
14. The wife is to be engaged in education of children. Be patient with them. Teach them good morals and Islam. If a husband has children of former wife, they must be well-treated.
These are but few items of the many rights that Islam, the religion of truth, imposes upon those who commit themselves to follow and practice it as a way of life. We vividly see that such rights, if maintained properly, will lead a society to peace, happiness and tranquility.
A wife becomes more respected, adored, cared for, highly needed and appreciated if she respects the rights of her husband, and equally given the rights she is entitled for by Islam.
Factors liable for Having Evil wife
Some of the factors include:
1. Poor parental up bringing
2. Lack of sound believe
3. Hausa film and Hausa novels
4. Drug abuse and intoxications among ladies (married and on married)
5. Lack of Islamic religious knowledge and spiritual guide
6. Evil and bad friends
7. Week or absent of strong legal system
8. Fake love
9. Devil’s possessed minds.
10. Copy and paste of western life.
11. Ignorance of what marriage is all about.
12. Capitalism and materialism in marriage life.
Way out and possible solutions
Solutions or way out to this menace are in finding a lasting solutions to the above mention factors is the key to successful happy marriage life.
1. Fear Allah in your marriage life.
2. Understanding Islamic concept of marriage (its act of ibadah)
3. Eradicating various means of drug abuse through security and Govt. agencies
4. Good parental upbringing
5. Spending time on Quran and daily azkar for the peace of your mind, spiritual guard and safety against devil and evil doers.
6. Strengthening our securities and legal system to prosecute bad eggs to serve as example to others.
7. Read beneficial things books and online.
8. You and your children watch educative programs, give time to Islamic channels that uplift your well-being in the two world eg sunna TV, Africa TV 3 Manara TV, wisal etc.
9. Providing marriage counseling centers in our society for both married and those intend to go for marriage life.
10. Having and retaining good friends
11. Contentment
12. Remember your final destination.
We ask Allah the most High to continue to guard and protect our iman, our family and general muslim Ummah. AMEEN
For questions or suggestions, pls call 08039584612 OR e-mail yahyalyolawi@gmail.com
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