TOPIC: DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND & WIFE IN ISLAM (2)
In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the most Merciful
Respected brothers and sisters in Islam, today’s sermon will look at the duties and obligations of Husband toward his wife in Islam.
As we have said previously, Islam is very much concern with issues related to marriage and what comes after marriage agreement. In order to maintain peace and good harmony among families, and between husband and wife; Islam has prescribed certain duties and responsibilities to the husband and place certain duties and responsibilities on wife to balance the equation and whenever those rights are neglected or violated a lots of chaos and evils will find their way in to your life as husband or wife. Allah says: “…And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of
them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]
Basically , there are financial obligations over her husband, which includes: dowry, feeding, clothing and general spending (Nafaqah) and accommodation and Non-financial rights; such as been just, fair showing equality between co-wives, being treated in a nice, decent, kind, love and respectful manner, and not being treated in an offensive, hash, rude, harmful or disrespectful manners by her husband.
Some of the verses and ahadith on duties and responsibilities of husband to his wife includes:
1. Fear Allah concerning your wives and treat them well.
It was narrated from Jabir that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said in his Farewell Sermon: “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and enjoyment with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like…” Muslim, 1218)
2. Financial obligations (Nafaqah) in feeding and clothing without stinginess or extravagance: Allah SWT says: “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…” and He says: “Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him” [Q 65:7]
The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on his wife, on the condition that the wife makes herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending. The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available to her husband only because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, full fill all her basic needs and this is in return for her making herself available to him.
3. Shelter or Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allah (SWT) says : “Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them”.[Q 65:6]
NON-FINANCIAL RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS:
4. Kind treatment. Husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allah says “…and live with them honorably” [Q 4:19] “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
5. Teaching and guiding her to religious of Allah: Allah say: “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded”.Q66:6
6. Just & Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (R.A) said: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: ‘Be kind to women....’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).
7. Not harming one’s wife. This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haram in the case of other people, it is even more so in the case of one’s wife. It was narrated from ‘Ubadah bn Saamit that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)
8. The best among you are those who treat their wives in best manner the messenger of Allah (SAW) has said: "Best among you are those who behave well with their women."
9. You should not hate your wife: "No believing man should have enmity and hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too." The Hadith means that the woman must be having both good and bad habits. Man should not always point out her bad habits only. He should also appreciate her good habits.
10. The husband should satisfy his wife's Marital needs. Allah (SWT) says: It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing [against sinful sexual affairs] for you and you are clothing for them…” Q2:187
The Sharee'ah has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that woman's minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives in the name of meeting, travels etc and you will find him moving around with another woman online, in the office . Such people have a lots of questions to answer before Allah for their oppression and injustice. Allah swt has granted women the right to conjugal relations with their husbands when that is missing or not satisfied allots chaos and problems will find their ways in to your family and have yourself to blame as 50 % if not more of our marriages ends as the result of that but no one can tell you among the spouses.
IN ADDITION TO THAT:
11. Husband should appreciate his wife and never appreciate the beauty and other merits of other woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her husband has some feelings or relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills matrimonial relations and should be avoided.
12. In order to maintain peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should respect and take care of each other's opinions and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore, advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.
13. Trust and confidence: The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Prophet (SAW) said that the woman is the guardian and caretaker of her husband's house and Almighty Allah (SWT) will take an account from her in this regard on the Day of Judgement. The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel herself responsible for a vital department in the set up of the household. This will give the husband an opportunity to freely think of other things regarding the promotion , growth development and progress of his career or business.
14. Keeping secrets and privacy: The husband should never share the secrets of his wife with others. The messenger of Allah said: "Worst is the person in the sight of Allah who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets …".
15. The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart, dynamic nice and a loveable person.
16. The husband should not level charges of suspicion or corrupt practices against his wife without going into the depth of the matter. The relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife.
17. Abstaining from intoxicant and drug abuse: its highly abusive and disheartening to a wife in tolerating vilonce, and ill treatment of those kind of people Allah says: “O you who have believed, indeed, intoxicants, gambling, [sacrificing on] stone alters [to other than Allah ], and divining arrows are but defilement from the work of Satan, so avoid it that you may be successful. Satan only wants to cause between you animosity and hatred through intoxicants and gambling and to avert you from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer. So will you not desist?” Q5:90-91
18. Indulging in physical, online and or social media, sinful relationship with other women.
This is the greatest menace of today’s marriages between the spouses of today must especially Men in the name of his entitled to 4 wives which end mostly in sinful acts that destroy your marriage life. Allah says: “And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way” 17:32 And He says: “That Day, We will seal over their mouths, and their hands will speak to Us, and their feet will testify about what they used to earn”.Q36:65
These are but few items of the many rights that Islam, the religion of truth, imposes upon those who commit themselves to follow and practice it as a way of life. We vividly see that such rights, if maintained properly, will lead the society to peace, happiness and tranquility.
A husband becomes more respected, adored, cared for, highly needed and appreciated if he respects the rights of his wife, and equally be given the rights he is entitled for by Islam.
We ask Allah the most High to continue to guard and protect our iman our family and general muslim Ummah.AMEEN
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