THE 147th KHUTBAH
DELIVERED AT AREA 10 JUMA’AH MASJID ABUJA, BY IMAM YAHYA AL-YOLAWI, ON 24TH NOV.2017
5THR/AWWAL 1439AH
TOPIC: DUTIES AND
RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND & WIFE IN ISLAM
In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the
most Merciful
My dear respected brothers and sisters
in Islam, Today’s sermon will discuss the topic: Duties and responsibilities of
husband and wife in Islam.
Islam as a religion is very much concern with
issues related to marriage and what comes after marriage agreement. In order to
maintain peace and good harmony among families, and between husband and wife;
Islam has prescribed certain duties and responsibilities to the husband and
place certain duties and responsibilities on wife to balance the equation and
whenever those rights are neglected or violated a lots of chaos and evils will
find their way in to your life as husband or wife. Allah says: “…And due to the
wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.
But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And
Allah is exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]
Some of the verses and ahadith on rights and
obligations of husband and wife includes:
1. Man is
the caretaker of his wife and household:
He is responsible for all her affairs and
he
would going to be asked on that “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what
Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from
their wealth…” [Quran 4:34]
2. Obedience
It is an essential right of man over his wife
to be obeyed so long as his commands do not conflict or contradict the commands
of Allah, the Almighty, Allah’s Messenger (SAW) and the general teachings
and codes of ethics of Islam.
Allah Almighty Says in the same verse:
"...But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed,
Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.." [Quran 4:34]
3. Keeping
secret and privacy:
A Muslim wife must protect her husband’s
secrets, privacies, honor and dignity. She also must protect his wealth,
children, finance, belongings and other aspects of his household, as much as
possible.
Allah Almighty Says in the same verse :
"...So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's]
absence what Allah would have them guard..." [Quran 4:34]
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: "The
wife is the guardian over the house of her husband and his children."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
4. Respect
to husband:
And“If I were to command a single person
to bow in prostration to another person, I could have commanded a woman to bow
down (in obedience and respect, not in worship) to her husband.” [Abu Daawood]
5. Meeting
his marital needs:
The wife should fear Allah at all times and be
ready to meet the needs of her husband, except in cases where it is not
permitted to Sharia (menses or post natal bleeding). At other times, she has no
right to refuse him.
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: “If a
husband calls his wife to his bed, but she refused to fulfill the call (for any
reason other than a lawful one), which drives the man to become upset with his
wife, then angels will curse such a wife until she gets up in the morning.”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
6. Seeking
his permission and approval
The wife must not leave the house except with
her husband's permission and approval. She must also lower her gaze, keep her
voice low, keep her hands from reaching out to anything evil and keep her
tongue from any lewd or foul speech. She also must not harm his children,
parents or near relatives.
This is because Allah Almighty has said
"And abides in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the
display of the former times of ignorance...." [Quran 33:33]
7. Protecting
Your voice and gaze
Allah Almighty also has said (what means):
"...Do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease
should desire, but speak with appropriate speech." [Quran 33:32]
In another verse, Allah Says: "And tell
the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private
parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears
thereof..." [Quran 24:31]
8. The best
wife in the world:
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: "The
best woman is the one who when you look at her, you are pleased; when you order
her, she obeys; if you are absent from her, she guards herself and your
property." [At-Tabarani]
9. Obeying
Husbands instructions:
Another right of the husband over his wife is
that the husband may ask his wife not do something, including, but not limited
to voluntary acts of worship, other than obligatory, which cause her to lessen
the time that her husband may have to enjoy her.
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) stated: “A wife is not
allowed to observe fast (other than fasting in the month of Ramadan, the
prescribed, unless she has his permission. She may not allow anyone to come
into his house, unless he permits.” [At-Tirmithi]
10. Husband is agate way to
paradise open it or close it:
It has been reported from Umm Salamah, the
mother of the believers, may Allah be pleased with her, that Allah’s Messenger
(SAW) said: “Any woman whose husband dies while he is pleased, happy and
satisfied with her (acts, attitudes and behavior) will enter Jannah
(Paradise).” At-Tirmithi
Adding to above mentioned
11. Contentment:
Have to be content with what brings
husband and thank him. No need to be ungrateful to your husband and talk about
what is missing. You can thus provoke him to get money from haram. On the
contrary, you should take care and asking your husband to bring in only the
funds, earned through halal means. Do not compare him with husbands of your
sisters or girlfriends or what you see on the screen. Remember, everyone has
their flaws. If you'll thank you husband for even minor gifts, then he will be
pleased to do it more often. The husband needs to feel importance in his
family.
12. Saying sorry and seeking for
forgiveness:
If the husband is not satisfied with his
wife’s actions or done something wrong there is no harm to say sorry and ask
for forgiveness that will earn her more respect to her husband.
13. Respecting Husband’s parent and
relatives:
The wife should respect and honor the
parents and relatives of the husband. Honor them how to honor your parents. Be
grateful for the fact that they raised your husband.
14. The wife is to be engaged in
education of children. Be patient with them. Teach them good morals and Islam.
If a husband has children of former wife, they must be well-treated.
These are but few items of the many rights
that Islam, the religion of truth, imposes upon those who commit themselves to
follow and practice it as a way of life. We vividly see that such rights, if
maintained properly, will lead a society to peace, happiness and tranquility.
A wife becomes more respected, adored, cared
for, highly needed and appreciated if she respects the rights of her husband,
and equally given the rights she is entitled for by Islam.
Strange behavior of killing husbands by wives
This barbaric and evil act of wives killing or
harming their husbands physically or otherwise in our society is becoming
alarming and great societal problem which not tackled can lead to so many
bad consequences to all. We learn that another wife also attempt to kill
her husband in Gusau zamfara state, with a broken bottle in the same week
a wife successfully killed her husband here in Abuja last week Sunday.
Factors liable for wife killing her
husband
Some of the factors include:
1. Poor
parental up bringing
2. Lack of
sound believe
3. Hausa
film and Hausa novels
4. Drug
abuse and intoxications among ladies (married and on married)
5. Lack of
Islamic religious knowledge and spiritual guide
6. Evil and
bad friends
7. Week or
absent of strong legal system
8. Fake
love
9. Devil’s
possessed minds.
10. Copy and paste of western life.
11. Ignorance of what marriage is
all about.
12. Capitalism and
materialism in marriage life.
Way out and possible solutions
Solutions or way out to this menace are in
finding a lasting solutions to the above mention factors is the key to
successful happy marriage life.
1. Fear
Allah in your marriage life.
2. Understanding
Islamic concept of marriage (its act of ibadah)
3. Eradicating
various means of drug abuse through security and Govt. agencies
4. Good
parental upbringing
5. Spending
time on Quran and daily azkar for the peace of your mind, spiritual
guard and safety against devil and evil doers.
6. Strengthening
our securities and legal system to prosecute bad eggs to serve as example to
others.
7. Read
beneficial things books and online.
8. You and
your children watch educative programs, give time to Islamic channels that
uplift your well-being in the two world eg sunna TV, Africa TV 3 Manara
TV, wisal etc.
9. Providing
marriage counseling centers in our society for both married and those intend to
go for marriage life.
10. Having and retaining good
friends
11. Contentment
12. Remember your final
destination.
NB:
Here,
I will like to draw the attention of muslim ummah concerning the killings
of Fulani people in Numan and bomb blast in Mubi Adamawa
state which claim over 100 innocent live in one week, that people should
remain calm and wait for the law to take it course, at same time we are
appealing to the Government and our securities to do something as quickly as
possible to deter future occurrence and reprisal attacks from other party as
something like that happen some month back in mambila the same people were
attack and little or nothing was done so far.
We ask Allah the most High to continue to
guard and protect our iman, our family and general muslim Ummah. AMEEN
Kindly share it to others
For questions or suggestions, pls call 08039584612 OR e-mail yahyalyolawi@gmail.com
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