In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
Respected brothers and sisters in Islam, Today's sermon will discuss the topic: Significance of good parental upbringing Islam.
The term parenting simply refers to father and mother or those gave birth to the younger ones. Islam builds a family in which prevails mutual respect and care. Parents and children in Islam are bound together by mutual obligations and reciprocal arrangements. Allah Says "…No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child…" [Quran 2: 233] Parents are the first and must important and permanent teachers to a child. Parents play a very important role in the lives of their children. They have to build a solid foundation for their kids in order to live behind them a successful life here and hereafter. The foundation needs to be built at an early age, and needs to keep it up throughout the child's age of adolescence and beyond. Individual's life success and failure depends largely on good or poor parental upbringing.
Children are just a gift and trust given to the parents by Allah (SWT). Parents will be held accountable for this trust on the Day of Qiyama. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, physical, social, mental and essential religious teachers of their children.
Allah says:
"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones" Q:66.6
Thus, Parental care and Islamic guidance are fundamental to the child upbringing. However some parents nowadays become so lackadaisical or preoccupied with their jobs or with making money or with their social lives that children are often neglected. They may be ignored or left for hours with the Nannies, television or computer or they may be sent to day-care centers at a very early age to be cared for in groups by different set of people with different religious believe, with different background and characters.
Some of the verses and ahadith on parents' responsibilities for the care and good upbringing of their children includes:
1. Parents are task to protect and safe guide their children from Hell-fire. Allah (SWT) Says: "O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are (appointed) angels firm (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded.…" [Quran 66:6]
2. Parents would be asked concerning their children: The prophet (SAW) said:
"Each of you is a shepherd and each of you shall be asked concerning what he was entrusted with; a leader is a shepherd of his people, and he shall be asked concerning his flock; and a man is a shepherd of the people of his house, and he shall be asked concerning his family; and a woman is a shepherd of the house of her husband and over their children, and she shall be asked concerning them….." [Bukhari and Muslim]
3. When parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of Qiyama. Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Quran:"And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring (in heaven), and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything. Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned". (Q 52:21)
4. Good parental upbringing nurtures righteous and obedient children and vice versa.
Allah say: "And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."Q:46:15
It was related that a man once came to 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab, the second Khalifah of Islam, may Allah be pleased with him, complaining of his sons' disobedience to him. 'Umar summoned the boy and spoke of his disobedience to his father and his neglect of his rights. The boy replied: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen ! Hasn't a child rights over his father?" "Certainly", replied 'Umar. "What are they, Ameer al-Mu'mineen?"
"That he should choose his mother, give him a good name and teach him the Book (the Quran)." "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen! My father did nothing of this. My mother was a Magian (fire worshipper). He gave me the name of Julalaan (meaning dung beetle or scarab) and he did not teach me a single letter of the Quran."
Turning to the father, 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "You have come to me to complain about the disobedience of your son. You have failed in your duty to him before he has failed in his duty to you; you have done wrong to him before he has wronged you."
5. Good parental upbringing is a legacy worthy of investing: Abu Huraira (R.A) reported: Allah's Messenger (SAW) saying: " When a man dies, his acts come to an end, except three, Sadaqatul jaariyah [recurring charity] or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious child, who prays for him (after his death)". [Sahih Muslim Hadith no. 4005]
FACTORS LIABLE FOR GOOD PARENTAL UPBRINGING
Factors assisting in parental upbringing include:
1. Selecting a righteous mother for your children,
2. Choosing righteous father for your children,
3. Giving your children a good Islamic name
4. Feeding them from and Halal provision
5. Teaching them Qur'an with understanding and sound Islamic knowledge
6. Good school (pri, sec, and university) with excellent teachers in character and learning.
7. Good Friends and peer group influence
8. Environmental influence
9. Mosque fully engaged with Da'awa activities
10. Having a role model or mentor among the scholars
11. Constant Dua (prayer) for our children: we can see that in prophet Ibrahim (A.S) where Allah say: " My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication". Q:14:40
12. Giving your child both Islamic and formal education Giving education means to look after, to nurture, to nourish, to support, to help grow and flourish throughout his academic career from childhood to adulthood inculcating in him physical mental, moral, spiritual, social, economic and financial training that will benefit him and the society.
13. Effective monitoring and supervision in room, on phone, at home, school, environment, pear groups, mosques and working places.
14. Siraah of the prophet his companions and our righteous predecessors.
EXCELLENT EXAPLE FROM LUQMAN AND HIS SON
Adhering to the teaching of Qur'an and sunnah in the process of child upbringing (tarbiyah). An excellent example of this is the words of wisdom from Luqmaan to his son, related in the Quran, where he admonishes him the following 9 things in Q31: 12-19
Allah SWT say: "And (remember) when Luqman said to his son when he was advising him: "O my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed. And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. [And Luqman said], "O my son, indeed if wrong should be the weight of a mustard seed and should be within a rock or [anywhere] in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allah is Subtle and Acquainted.
O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.
And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful. And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."
These Nine (9)advices are:
1. Not to associate anything with Allah SWT.
2.-.To be good and kind to parents.
3.- To obey parents unless they command what is sin or disobedient to Allah SWT.
4- To understand that all our deeds, however minor, are recorded and will be brought to light.
5- To be constant in prayer.
6- To enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.
7- To bear what befalls him with patience.
8- To avoid pride, arrogance and boastfulness.
9 - To be modest in manner and speech.
CONSEQUENCES OF POOR PARENTAL UP BRINNGING
Unfortunately, from what is obtainable in almost every society and many parents today, regardless of tribe region, origin,religion, social and economic status, have neglected this very important imposed right of their own children on them to others.
Such individuals have indeed lost their children as a result of their own negligence. Such parents are so careless about the time their children spend with no benefit, the friends they associate with, the places they go to, etc.
Such parents do not care and totally not concerned about where their children do or go in town, online, Tv, computer,on phones, social media etc causing the children to grow up being useless or irresponsible and without caring any supervision. Such parents neglect even to instruct, direct or guide their children to proper way of Islamic and modest life, even right attitudes towards others. However you may find these parents so careful about guarding their wealth, car, house, and other useless activities. They make sure every possible effort to lead a very successful life in terms of money and other materialistic gains, although all this wealth is not actually theirs; it is for inheritance. No one will take his wealth to the grave. Subhanallah.
Allah says"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones" {Q:66.6.}
We ask Allah the most high, to continue to protect our religion and safe guard our Iman and that of our families in this world and in the hereafter.
Ameen
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